20th January 2015 - The day that changed my outlook towards life ...

My life was pretty much normal .. Get up .. go to work .. come back .. and the routine continues....  It was 26th December which was supposedly the happiest day of my life cause its my birthday .. woohooo... Was out for a family vacation followed by dinner with mum and dad .. It was all so pleasant. All smiles !!!!

That night I started coughing , mom's initial response being "Hina why cant u stop drinking such cold (frozen) water?". I thought may be I should listen to this for once. I was coughing continuously for next 10 days... Trust me it wasn't normal.. I decided to see the doctor and he advised for a xray wid some normal medications.... Let me tell you that this was the first xray of my life.. I could sense something was not right with my body and to my surprise yes it was... Doctor confirmed that I was diagnosed with tuberculosis. My left lung's upper zone  was affected and yes I was a TB patient...  TB takes 9 months with regular medicines to get cured completely .. Sounds easy right .. Take few medicines and this infection will be kicked out ...I wish it was this easy .. I really did ..

Initially started with less dosage just to ensure that my body takes in medicines well... While I had reduced 6 kg in less than a month my body was not responding well to medicines too .. What happens when one's body doesn't adjust well with medicines... Well you puke!!! Yes and you puke day in and out..... You feel puky and lazy ... But its very important that one continues with TB medications irrespective of the side effects.. So with all the courage I took the medicines ...  As soon as it goes in .. It comes out  .. I cried and cried .. It was trouble falling asleep and waking up the other day .. Since I wasn't contagious I was lucky to be with people ... It gives strength to fight this infection... If you are thinking its just nausea .. I wish it was limited to this. But as a matter of fact being anti tuberculosis medication comes with side effects.. And I did experience many..

How difficult it is for a normal person to get up from bed or from a chair ... Huh.. Give it a thought  .. For me I would scream on top of my voice to move my legs .. I couldn't stand for more than 5 minutes .. A 400 meter walk was like a marathon ... And guess what there is nothing much I could do about it .. The only option I had was .. PAIN KILLERS !!!! So why wouldn't I take them ... Well after having 5 grams of medicines daily .. Crocin was like a big NO NO ... I started hating my body .. My skin .. Hair .. What was happening within .. But under any circumstances I was asked not to skip a single dose of medicine .. That's what I did .. I didn't skip ..

Months passed .. My Xray started clearing slowly .. Trust me its a very slow process and you need to be very patient with yourself .. I cried I puked I hated .. But slowly I realized there  is nothing much I could do .. It wasn't in my hands.. I took all the possible preventive measures that I don't pass this dreadful infection to anybody.. Luckily I wasn't contagious too ..

This infection taught me most important thing in life .. Patience ... You cant rush the entire process of getting cured and you cant just wake up one morning and feel .. Yes I am fine .. No .. It takes time and patience .. The best you can do is be kind to yourself and eat healthy .. Eating food was more like a task for me .. But one has to ... You cant give up on yourself .. While people looked at me and never realized I was down with Tuberculosis .. Deep inside I was in pain that lasted for more than 6 months..

Not all illness show .. Not all pain is visible .... Don't judge people by what they appear ..

Tuberculosis is the second most dreadful infection .. Most people stop their medicines halfway which causes relapsing.. This blog is about my personal experience and to all those who are fighting some illness which is not seen  ..Be brave .. Be strong .. Never take anything for granted .. Not even yourself !!!